Thursday 26 April 2012

Why!

Not a moment passes by with out thinking "why can't I carry the baby instead of her".

Wednesday 4 April 2012

It is not over yet!

As of my experiences of life, I always felt working your way from failure to success is the best thing that can happen in anyone’s life. You would know the meaning of life better and you will enjoy the success better. I believed in this until a couple of days back, but, not anymore. Sadly, I came to this conclusion after seeing my Dad.

We, as a family, had a very tough time (financially) to start off and then slowly worked our way saving, working extra hours, managing with limited resources etc., I am not justified to quote 'we' here because my parents had taken much of the pain in their 'periods of glory' to give me the glory of my life. [However even I have sacrificed a few of my toys and that’s the reason for the 'we']. Touch wood, we are in a better position now. My Dad had retired from his (official) services and he is gracing visits to his children’s' place, viz., me and my sister. All is fine.

However I see an uncomfortable silence in my father. He once used to be very jubilant, making fun of all relatives (even my friends), and everyone would say 'when V is around you are bound to get a good time', but then that is far gone now. Escaped like a smoke, disappeared like a mirage, washed away like a Tsunami, wretched by wind. But why is this change in him? Why has he gone down so much psychologically? why why why???!!!

While there could be many reasons for it, the prime reason that I see is, he is comfortable and secured now. There is no need for him to work hard to save the extra penny, no need to curtail his expenses to save more, no need to decide up on a choice, no need to manage money. Now that myself and my sister are independent (read: having own incomes and families) he doesn't have to decide up on what to buy for us, what to buy for the family etc., This very thought itself makes him feel that he has lost the charm in his life. He feels he is no more the essence of the family; he no more is the nucleus. Though, neither me nor my sister could help him change his thoughts, we feel really sorry for him. We want him back to his jubilant himself, but I have already lost hope.

Dad, it is not over yet, you are still the nucleus of our family, we respect and love you for what you have done so far, and we love you for ever. Things aren’t mounting big anymore for you because you worked so hard to make them small. Out of challenge does not mean, you have lost the race, it means you have won over everyone by miles.

My verdict has changed, a hard earned life only leads to more miseries, and it is just a bell curve which is going to dip eventually.

Daddy, it is definitely not over yet!